end of an ERa

Last week my wife and I watched the last episode of ER. We do not watch much TV, especially since we only receive local, over the air, free channels. (By the way, not having cable has probably saved us about $7200 over the course of our marriage, and has probably saved our marriage since we don't have ESPN.) But we typically have one show that we routinely watch. Early in our marriage it was ER, then X-Files, The Practice, now Lost. ER has always been our old standby.

For the first three or four years ER was tremendous. Over time it became very good with moments of greatness. Eventually it settled into routinely good. And, as I mentioned, we have watched the show off and on. As good as it has been, I am no longer particularly attached to it. So why was I so emotional when it ended?

The last show was well done, but nothing spectacular. The producers brought back several fan favorites, but only for cameos. The show was good, but what I felt went beyond quality television programming.

After contemplating this, it finally hit me. I started watching ER my senior year in college. (Okay, my first senior year in college.) My roommates and I would actually sit down together on Thursday nights and watch. We watched from the very first episode. We watched because two of us actually worked part time in a hospital. We watched together as some sort of roommate commitment.

At the end of that year both my roommates graduated and moved to DFW. I ended up in a house by myself, trying to finish school. It was the beginning of the rest of my life. But I still watched ER.

You know the feeling when you go back home, even as an adult, you feel like a child. I know I had that childish feeling going home even after I got married. I never felt like a real adult until we had children. I remember about six months after my oldest was born, it suddenly dawned on me, "Oh no, I'm an adult." Yes, it had been ten years since I left home for college, since I went out on my own, but in that moment I went from childhood to adulthood.

The same thing happened the other night with ER. The show ended and instantly I felt something change. If you look through my clothes I no longer have any t-shirt I picked up in college. No "Beach Bash '93", or "Search for the Holy Grub". I have long since graduated, and actually managed a Master's Degree. There is nothing left of my college days. Save one thing:ER. It was the last vestige of university life. And now it is gone.

The feeling which overwhelmed me from nowhere the other night was simply this: "Oh no, college is over."