Showing Up

On Monday, my father underwent a prostatectomy. I went to Tyler to be with my parents during the surgery and his first couple of days of recovery. They had no idea I was coming, and I feel the surprise was well received.

I arrived Sunday evening, and very quickly we all headed to bed since my father's surgery was scheduled for early Monday morning. May parents headed to the hospital around 5:00am and I went around 6:00am. At the front desk they informed my that my dad was still in pre-op and I was welcome to join him, but only two people were allowed back at a time. No problem, since it would just be myself and my mom (and possibly my brother who lives in Tyler.) However, when I got to the pre-op area I was greeted by a crowd. There was the usual suspects (mom, brother, my dad's sister who lives an hour away), but that was not all. Several people from my parent's church had arisen at an ungodly hour to be with my dad for a few minutes before he went into surgery.

After my dad was wheeled away, everyone moved to the waiting area where we were joined by many more people. Friends my parents met when they first moved to Tyler (I was a year old), the only preacher I ever knew growing up and his wife, my best friend's parents, etc... It was like old home week. Everyone wanted to know about my wife, kids and job. We talked about our experiences with the same dentist (we've all been to John Scott). Laughed about people we all know. I almost felt guilty enjoying myself so much while my dad underwent cancer surgery.

Later that afternoon, as I sat in my dad's hospital room, I had time to reflect on the events of the morning. The day began with worries about my dad's cancer and impending surgery. It ended with him resting (about as comfortably as possible after a surgery) in his hospital room. In between, I experienced real love, concern and community.

This is how we want things to be. What we hope for. That people will be there for us when the chips are down. But so often we think this just happens. That people either show up or don't because of some cosmic happenstance. But that's just not true. Look at the facts.

My parents have lived in the same town for 36 years.

They have attended the same church for 32 years.

My mom has attended almost every bridal and baby shower held during that span.

My parents bring food to those who are sick, host the single parents and their kids for swimming at their house, and throw a killer New Year's party.

Don't get me wrong. My parents aren't the most theologically sophisticated people you will ever meet (that is not a put down by the way), but they know how to stick with it. They have stuck with the same church and same people for decades. Everyone who showed up weren't people my parents have shared all their darkest secrets with, my parents are too private for that. But they are people with whom they have shared life, long-term.

Community isn't an accident. It is not simply a product of a charismatic leader. Rather, community is the result of the slow and often repetitive process of staying with people. Community is not first and foremost something that happens or we strive for, it is something that grows out of showing up in people's lives. Again. And again. And again. And again. And again.

Revival #4

Continuing our look at revival. What true revival in the church looks like.

Revival in the Church 2.7.2010.mp3

Random Worship Thoughts (#3)

I love a good worship service. Now stop right there. You might have just said, “Me too.” But the “good worship service” we each thought of is probably drastically different. You know this dilemma. All this talk about worship. Worship is important. Worship should be improved. But no one can seem to agree on what a “good worship service” should be like. So we either fight, or we are unhappy or we get our way or we leave. We congregate with those who seem to have a similar notion of “good worship.”

This all seems to miss the point. And we all feel it. So what can we do? I’m not sure. But here are my ideas for what makes a “good worship service.”

1. Since we are worshipping God, maybe He should decide what makes a good worship service. After all, shouldn't a birthday bash be judged by the birthday boy?

2. Take a look around during the service. What does the crowd look like? I don’t mean numbers, but you can make some judgements about a worship service based on the crowd. Do they all look alike? Are they all the same color? Wearing the same style of clothes? If they are, this may not be that great of a worship service. Is there a homeless man sitting next to the president of the local bank? Is there an unwed teenage mom singing alongside an elder’s wife? Are there people of different races, colors and classes and capabilities worshipping together? If the answer to these questions is yes, it’s probably a great worship service.

3. Check out the guy on the corner. You know the one you pass every week as your head from church to your favorite restaurant. Are people from your worship service stopping to talk to him? Offering assistance? Inviting him to lunch? Do I even have to say what kind of answers a “good worship service” should produce?

Random Worship Thoughts (#2)

What if we spent the next century using the same amount of energy and conviction to get the poor and the outcast into our churches that we spent last century keeping pianos out?

Random Worship Thoughts (#1)

We have spent years focusing on doing worship correctly. This meant certain acts (the five acts of worship) performed by certain people (baptized males) in certain ways (without instruments, every Sunday). Now a renewal movement is sweeping through our churches focused on…doing worship correctly. Only now correctly means certain acts (raising hands, singing with eyes closed) performed by certain people (praise teams) in certain ways (with projectors, great emotion). The common element is a belief that doing things correctly makes us spiritual and righteous. Where did we get that idea? When will we become more concerned with doing good than being right?

It's Time to Be Honest

Sex. Got you didn’t I. There’s something about that word. Some of you were shocked just now. Others embarrassed. Somebody out there thinks it was a sin just to write it. But don’t worry, they’re still reading.

The church has to get a handle on sex. We don’t know how to talk about it or deal with it. It can destroy those who keep their failings a secret, and we can destroy those who choose to confess. So what do we do with sex. Here’s a few ideas.

1. Talk about it. If the preacher can’t mention sex in a sermon, how in the world is the church supposed to deal with it in a healthy way? So let’s stop being scared. Mentioning sex at church is not going to make our teenagers jump in the back seats of their cars. As a matter of fact, they might listen for once because the church is willing to be honest and relevant.

2. Keep it in perspective. Perhaps it’s just me, but I have always felt that sexual sin is way worse than any other sin. The only people I have ever seen disfellowshipped were participating in sexual sin. There is a perception (that I think is rampant) that sexual sin is so much worse than any other sin. Because of this, people are afraid to share their temptations or failings. And their sin grows and grows until it consumes them. Then they either leave the church or we give them the boot.

3. Face the truth. This one is the toughest. It’s time we admit that our secrecy about sex is killing us. Tons of men in our churches are addicted to pornography. Some women in our churches use sex as a weapon to get their way with their husbands. Yes, teen pregnancy, date rape, pedophilia, sexual abuse, etc… don’t stop at our front doors. It’s time to pull the covers back, so we can all get better.

Elder Ordination

This past Sunday we ordained four men to shepherd our church. We eschewed the formalities of a typical ordination service (this would just not fit our church, I mean come on we meet on Sundays at 5pm). For me the moist poignant moment came when all four stood facing the church, and listened as various members read to them from scripture. I almost lost it when I watched them stand arm in arm as my son, who is eight, read to them about Jesus asking Peter to "Feed his lambs."

It seems to me that the beauty of leadership is often lost in the formality of it. What most of us need in life is not a well-put together budget presentation or constant communication from those who lead about where we are all going. Those things are good. But they only seem truly important when real leadership is missing. Real leadership is four guys willing to take their cue from a child reading scripture. If they truly "feed the lambs", they have done their job.