Showing Up

On Monday, my father underwent a prostatectomy. I went to Tyler to be with my parents during the surgery and his first couple of days of recovery. They had no idea I was coming, and I feel the surprise was well received.

I arrived Sunday evening, and very quickly we all headed to bed since my father's surgery was scheduled for early Monday morning. May parents headed to the hospital around 5:00am and I went around 6:00am. At the front desk they informed my that my dad was still in pre-op and I was welcome to join him, but only two people were allowed back at a time. No problem, since it would just be myself and my mom (and possibly my brother who lives in Tyler.) However, when I got to the pre-op area I was greeted by a crowd. There was the usual suspects (mom, brother, my dad's sister who lives an hour away), but that was not all. Several people from my parent's church had arisen at an ungodly hour to be with my dad for a few minutes before he went into surgery.

After my dad was wheeled away, everyone moved to the waiting area where we were joined by many more people. Friends my parents met when they first moved to Tyler (I was a year old), the only preacher I ever knew growing up and his wife, my best friend's parents, etc... It was like old home week. Everyone wanted to know about my wife, kids and job. We talked about our experiences with the same dentist (we've all been to John Scott). Laughed about people we all know. I almost felt guilty enjoying myself so much while my dad underwent cancer surgery.

Later that afternoon, as I sat in my dad's hospital room, I had time to reflect on the events of the morning. The day began with worries about my dad's cancer and impending surgery. It ended with him resting (about as comfortably as possible after a surgery) in his hospital room. In between, I experienced real love, concern and community.

This is how we want things to be. What we hope for. That people will be there for us when the chips are down. But so often we think this just happens. That people either show up or don't because of some cosmic happenstance. But that's just not true. Look at the facts.

My parents have lived in the same town for 36 years.

They have attended the same church for 32 years.

My mom has attended almost every bridal and baby shower held during that span.

My parents bring food to those who are sick, host the single parents and their kids for swimming at their house, and throw a killer New Year's party.

Don't get me wrong. My parents aren't the most theologically sophisticated people you will ever meet (that is not a put down by the way), but they know how to stick with it. They have stuck with the same church and same people for decades. Everyone who showed up weren't people my parents have shared all their darkest secrets with, my parents are too private for that. But they are people with whom they have shared life, long-term.

Community isn't an accident. It is not simply a product of a charismatic leader. Rather, community is the result of the slow and often repetitive process of staying with people. Community is not first and foremost something that happens or we strive for, it is something that grows out of showing up in people's lives. Again. And again. And again. And again. And again.

Return to Sender

Last Friday I stopped by the main branch of the United States Postal Service here in Abilene. I had just finished playing basketball, so I was extremely sweaty. I needed to be home in 30 minutes to take Grant to his guitar lesson. All I needed to do was mail one letter.

Now the letter I was mailing was not just any piece of mail, it was my tax return. I filed for an extension because this year our taxes were even more confusing than normal. I finally had completed it. So understand, I was at the Post Office to send mail to our government about my taxes.

When I got inside there was a long line. I thought this unusual for a Friday at 1:20. Then I noticed there was only one person helping customers. And the customer he was currently helping had a lot of different types of mail to send. So I waited. After several minutes this customer was done and another stepped forward with the largest box I have ever seen someone attempt to mail. The line crept forward.

Now I noticed that the worker behind the counter wasn't alone. There were two other people behind him. Supervisors. But all they did was stand and watch. (Let me say now that this is not a diatribe against the postal service or its' employees. I know many good people who work for the postal service.) I kept waiting for one or both of them to open a window to speed things up. They never did.

I was in line for fifteen minutes and moved forward only one spot. I found this annoying, but not as much as the person in front of me. An elderly woman turned around, looked me right in the face, and said very loudly, "Well, I guess this is what our health care is going to be like pretty soon." She spoke with a little anger, but mostly resignation. Everyone looked at us. I simply nodded and smiled at her. Then we all went back to waiting.

A few observations:
1. If you know me well, then you know my Libertarian leanings. As my wife said when I relayed this story to her, "That lady had no idea who she was talking to." Yes, she was preaching to the choir.

2. Imagine that instead of the post office, I was at McDonald's. Have you ever waited 35 minutes at Mickey D's? I don't know why the two supervisors made no move to help (perhaps there are regulations that keep them from doing it), but I do know that at McDonald's the manager would have stepped up and opened another register and run it themselves. Why do I know this, because I have seen it. And because McDonald's is a successful business. The reason: they thrive on serving the customer. Any business that routinely treated its' customers like I was treated at the post office would quickly go out of business. But government is not a business. If they do something poorly or without cost-effectiveness they do not go out of business.

3. I don't really like the government handling the mail. I think a business could do it more efficiently and probably cheaper. I certainly don't want the government taking over the computer industry. Can you imagine if you were forced to get your computer from the government instead of Dell or HP? How much would one cost? And how long would you have to wait to get it? Yet, the government continues to worm it's way into taking over. Banks. Automobiles. Health Care.

4. Lately we have seen the yelling and complaining at the town hall meetings. The government seems baffled by this. While I prefer a less heated discussion, I understand the anger. People feel like the government is not listening. That its' taking over. Yes, most people say they want changes in the health care system. That does not mean they want the changes the government is pushing. I want changes. But what I want is the government to get out. Not get farther in. But that option is apparently not on the table.

5. Let's remember the irony in all this. I was at the Post Office to pay the government to mail a letter to the government about my paying the government. Couldn't this all be done a little more simply.