January 26, 2011
January 12, 2011
Buster Swiller All Fwink Willied Around
I am currently working on a series of sermons about wisdom. So, I have spent quite a bit of time lately thinking about foolish things I have done. Not the big, awful, mess your life up kind (though I have some of that). Just the dumb, spur of the moment, idiotic stuff that makes you look like a moron (got it by the truckload). Honestly, I think my brain went missing in seventh grade and I didn't get it back until I was about 30. So I have something like 18 years worth of material to draw on.
One of the foolish things I did in college was called "Buster Swillerin." A good friend of mine named Alan would do this funny thing where he would talk to you and throw in a couple of nonsense words. He could do it so well you would swear you didn't hear him right. This made you ask stupid questions and he got immense enjoyment out of it. Over time, our group of friends all got good at this and would do it to each other. Then we started using it on other people. One of the phrases we would often throw in was "Buster Swiller" and so we called this foolish little game "Buster Swillerin." After you did it to somebody really well you would say you "Busted them up." And of course my group of friends eventually became called "the busters." We even had a newsletter called the "Buster Gazette."
I once spent probably fifteen minutes at a McDonald's drive-thru as four of us tried to order. The poor person taking our order was so confused she was convinced the speaker wasn't working. So she told us to pull around to order. We did, and when she opened the window we unloaded with silly string on her.
We busted late night security guards, good-looking girls that intimidated us, and the President of the University. If someone famous was coming to visit school this was viewed as a prime chance to demonstrate your skills. We loved the perplexed look on people's faces as they tried to ascertain if we were crazy or they were. It was completely and utterly foolish. And great fun.
Hadn't thought about it in a long time until this sermon series. And then I saw this video. Back in the early nineties we didn't have easy access to video. Or else we would definitely have done this.
One of the foolish things I did in college was called "Buster Swillerin." A good friend of mine named Alan would do this funny thing where he would talk to you and throw in a couple of nonsense words. He could do it so well you would swear you didn't hear him right. This made you ask stupid questions and he got immense enjoyment out of it. Over time, our group of friends all got good at this and would do it to each other. Then we started using it on other people. One of the phrases we would often throw in was "Buster Swiller" and so we called this foolish little game "Buster Swillerin." After you did it to somebody really well you would say you "Busted them up." And of course my group of friends eventually became called "the busters." We even had a newsletter called the "Buster Gazette."
I once spent probably fifteen minutes at a McDonald's drive-thru as four of us tried to order. The poor person taking our order was so confused she was convinced the speaker wasn't working. So she told us to pull around to order. We did, and when she opened the window we unloaded with silly string on her.
We busted late night security guards, good-looking girls that intimidated us, and the President of the University. If someone famous was coming to visit school this was viewed as a prime chance to demonstrate your skills. We loved the perplexed look on people's faces as they tried to ascertain if we were crazy or they were. It was completely and utterly foolish. And great fun.
Hadn't thought about it in a long time until this sermon series. And then I saw this video. Back in the early nineties we didn't have easy access to video. Or else we would definitely have done this.
December 28, 2010
November 30, 2010
November 12, 2010
Pants on the Ground
In my sermon last Sunday, I mentioned a story where I accidentally glued my sweatpants to our kitchen floor. I was trapped while laying tile and in a very awkward position. I eventually determined that the only way out was getting out of my pants.
After church, this came up in a conversation. In a joking way it was mentioned that many of the worlds problems can be solved by dropping your drawers. Thought about it a little bit, and it's true! Just look at what all can be done by removing your pants.
1. Make a tourniquet for a severely cut arm.
2. Inflate them and use them as a life preserver.
3. Totally freak out and scare away a burglar.
4. Make a donation to Goodwill.
5. Cool down if you are overheating. (Once was on a summer youth trip when the AC went out in one of the vans. We stopped at a convenience store, put all the guys in that van, and proceeded to make do if you know what I mean.)
6. Wade a stream.
7. Solves the should I tuck or not dilemma (accept for a few diehards who would keep tucking. You know who you are.)
8. Beat out a fire.
9. Totally embarrass your daughter and scare away her scuzzy boyfriend.
10. Airport security is a lot simpler in a pantsless society.
11. You can't "sag" if you are not wearing pants. At least I hope you can't.
12. Makes it easy to get that Tetanus shot.
And of course...
13. Ants in the pants.
Admittedly there would be a few problems. Where to put your wallet and keys? Old dudes in whitey-tighties. A nationwide run on bleach. But you could still visit your favorite restaurant. The sign says no shirt, no shoes, no service. It says nothing about pants.
After church, this came up in a conversation. In a joking way it was mentioned that many of the worlds problems can be solved by dropping your drawers. Thought about it a little bit, and it's true! Just look at what all can be done by removing your pants.
1. Make a tourniquet for a severely cut arm.
2. Inflate them and use them as a life preserver.
3. Totally freak out and scare away a burglar.
4. Make a donation to Goodwill.
5. Cool down if you are overheating. (Once was on a summer youth trip when the AC went out in one of the vans. We stopped at a convenience store, put all the guys in that van, and proceeded to make do if you know what I mean.)
6. Wade a stream.
7. Solves the should I tuck or not dilemma (accept for a few diehards who would keep tucking. You know who you are.)
8. Beat out a fire.
9. Totally embarrass your daughter and scare away her scuzzy boyfriend.
10. Airport security is a lot simpler in a pantsless society.
11. You can't "sag" if you are not wearing pants. At least I hope you can't.
12. Makes it easy to get that Tetanus shot.
And of course...
13. Ants in the pants.
Admittedly there would be a few problems. Where to put your wallet and keys? Old dudes in whitey-tighties. A nationwide run on bleach. But you could still visit your favorite restaurant. The sign says no shirt, no shoes, no service. It says nothing about pants.
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