Pants on the Ground

In my sermon last Sunday, I mentioned a story where I accidentally glued my sweatpants to our kitchen floor. I was trapped while laying tile and in a very awkward position. I eventually determined that the only way out was getting out of my pants.

After church, this came up in a conversation. In a joking way it was mentioned that many of the worlds problems can be solved by dropping your drawers. Thought about it a little bit, and it's true! Just look at what all can be done by removing your pants.

1. Make a tourniquet for a severely cut arm.

2. Inflate them and use them as a life preserver.

3. Totally freak out and scare away a burglar.

4. Make a donation to Goodwill.

5. Cool down if you are overheating. (Once was on a summer youth trip when the AC went out in one of the vans. We stopped at a convenience store, put all the guys in that van, and proceeded to make do if you know what I mean.)

6. Wade a stream.

7. Solves the should I tuck or not dilemma (accept for a few diehards who would keep tucking. You know who you are.)

8. Beat out a fire.

9. Totally embarrass your daughter and scare away her scuzzy boyfriend.

10. Airport security is a lot simpler in a pantsless society.

11. You can't "sag" if you are not wearing pants. At least I hope you can't.

12. Makes it easy to get that Tetanus shot.

And of course...

13. Ants in the pants.

Admittedly there would be a few problems. Where to put your wallet and keys? Old dudes in whitey-tighties. A nationwide run on bleach. But you could still visit your favorite restaurant. The sign says no shirt, no shoes, no service. It says nothing about pants.