Tawdry Tiger

Over the past few weeks several people have asked me what I think about the whole Tiger Woods drama. Most, I think, were asking me as a sports fan. A couple, I believe, asked me as a minister who thinks about such things. I want to write about it from both perspectives.

As a sports fan you must somewhat suspend your disbelief. It's like going to a movie about aliens invading the earth. Even though we have zero proof of life on a distant world, you choose to believe for a couple of hours to enjoy the movie. Same goes for sports. If you root for a favorite team, inevitably they will employ an idiot. So what do you do? Only root for teams with players whose morals fit you? You would have to give up sports.

However, golf is different. It's an individual sport. Rather than rooting for laundry you actually must root for a person. But how many people root for a person based on who they really are? Maybe if your cousin plays professional golf. Otherwise, you are rooting for people you really don't know. So you can root against Tiger because of what you now know about him, but you risk rooting for other players who may be involved in the same kind of stuff, you just don't know it.

But there is obviously more to this than sports. This scandal says something about our strange relationship with sex in this country. Here are just a few things I think it might show us.

1. Most of America seems to have no idea what to think about sex. We live in a country that sells sex left and right. There is a massive industry feeding people's bizarre interest in the sex lives of the rich and famous. Girls in swimsuits sell beer. And cars. And hot wings. Yet, we all act utterly offended when someone famous cheats on their wife. Why? They are just fitting into the mass marketing culture of which they are a vital part.

2. Our double standards are incredible. I heard a famous sports writer say that the demographic that Tiger and golf must win back is women. He stated simply that women are the group most offended by Tiger's behavior. Again, why? I understand being upset that Tiger cheated on his wife. In fact he did it numerous times. All with women! Sure Tiger betrayed a woman. 15 women also betrayed her. Is he a louse? Absolutely. But let's not pretend this is a male issue. It always takes two to tango.

3. There is actually way more to this than sex. While Tiger may in fact be a sex addict, his conduct is very similar to something we have seen over the past several years involving athletes, movie stars and politicians. Those with power or especially wealth and talent, are treated like they can do no wrong. Young athletes with amazing potential are given millions of dollars before they accomplish anything. People glob onto them hoping to cash in on this wealth and fame. When that athlete or movie star does something untoward, those around them do not confront them. You don't take a shot at the golden goose. So these people get used to having whatever they want. No one tells them no. The rules don't apply to them. So, why would getting married suddenly make them accept the rules. The time when we develop integrity isn't just when we are a child. It is those years when we first hold a job, or have to make our way in the world on our own. If during that time the rules don't apply, you develop the notion that the rules will never apply. Perhaps rather than looking jealously on those who achieve wealth and fame at an early age, we should remember the massive risk to the soul and spirit that comes with that territory.

The Sport's God

The final proof is in. The evidence has moved beyond a shadow of a doubt. The trial is finished and it's an open and shut case. God doesn't care about sports. Definitively.

There was a time when I wasn't so sure. I must admit to having uttered little prayers right before an important pitch or free throw involving my favorite teams. While I disagreed with the players who immediately gave God the credit for their victory (always wondering why he didn't get the blame for a tough loss), I could never say absolutely that God didn't have a hand in it. Now I think I can.

Today, a fifty-nine year old man led the British Open going to the last hole. All Tom Watson needed was a par and he would become the oldest person to ever win a major golf championship. By over ten years!

It was obvious that every spectator at the golf course was pulling for Watson, willing him toward victory. I sat watching with rapt attention a sport I couldn't care less about normally. This was a big deal, history in the making. An eight foot putt for par was all that was left. And...he...missed!

He slumped into a playoff and was quickly finished. Stewart Cink, not Watson, was the champion.

So if God cared a lick about sports, wouldn't Watson's putt have scooted in? There has rarely been a time in sports when a good thing that was this close has slipped away like this. Why didn't God just make it happen?

I think these are the choices we are left with:

1. God hates Tom Watson. God took Watson close to the heights of ecstasy just so he could crush him on the rocks of disappointment. Boy, what must Watson have done to deserve that? And is God really that petty and capricious?

2. God really likes Stewart Cink. He seems like a nice guy. Plus, he's going bald. Otherwise I know nothing about the man. But even if this was all about Cink, couldn't God have helped him out without crushing Watson?

3. God doesn't care about Golf. This is a strong possibility. Perhaps God is only interested in team sports. Prefers Olympic events. Or thinks of Golf as too hoity-toity. Or maybe he's only interested if Tiger is playing.

4. Or most likely, God doesn't care about sports. Doesn't give a rip if your team wins. Isn't helping any professional player more than others. Allows us to make decisions and decide the outcome for much of life, including sporting events. In fact is probably puzzled by how fun and games could become such excruciating events for us.

So, Once and for all can we stop connecting God with sports. Don't say that God is the reason you won (especially when it was definitely pass interference but didn't get called). Don't thank Jesus for your home run (especially when you take steroids). And most of all, can't we all stop believing God cares an iota about sports.

(Disclaimer: This all gets rescinded if the Rangers ever make the world series. It would be prayer vigil time.)

Most Wonderful Time of the Year

Without a doubt, Thursday is my favorite day of the year. Don't get me wrong, I love holidays as much as the next guy. Thanksgiving weekend is such a tradition in my family, that even though the same things happen almost every year, it is still fantastic. I love watching my kids at Christmas. Right now I can almost feel the cool night air and the smell of Frito pie as I think about late October high school football games. It is all fun, beautiful, and makes life worth living.

But it can't compete with Thursday.

On Thursday I will head to my annual destination about 11:00am. I will sit down where I can see four gigantic screens. I'll order a hamburger and a Coke. Then I will watch as the best annual drama in existence unfolds. I will spend the next 3 to 4 hours watching four basketball games at once.

Now don't get me wrong, some of the games will be blowouts. Huge state schools with multi-million dollar athletic budgets and future NBA players will run roughshod over smaller colleges you've never heard of. But somehwere along the way...it will happen. A team that has no business even staying close to a basketball powerhouse will do more than stay close. They will make a miracle three at the buzzer and all heaven will break loose. For that's what it is, pure unadulterated bliss. It is "do you believe in miracles?" and David slaying Goliath all in one. And the wonderfful thing about it is that it happens every year, but it is still a suprise every time.

So Thursday at 11:00 I will be at Buffalo Wild Wings, brackets in hand. I will gather with other devotees, complete strangers that within an hour I will be high-fiving. It may not make any sense to you, but hey, that's why they call it march madness.

(By the way here is a link to a great article about watching March Madness, really gives you a feel for what goes on in the minds of true sports fans.)
http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/020313a