On Monday, my father underwent a prostatectomy. I went to Tyler to be with my parents during the surgery and his first couple of days of recovery. They had no idea I was coming, and I feel the surprise was well received.
I arrived Sunday evening, and very quickly we all headed to bed since my father's surgery was scheduled for early Monday morning. May parents headed to the hospital around 5:00am and I went around 6:00am. At the front desk they informed my that my dad was still in pre-op and I was welcome to join him, but only two people were allowed back at a time. No problem, since it would just be myself and my mom (and possibly my brother who lives in Tyler.) However, when I got to the pre-op area I was greeted by a crowd. There was the usual suspects (mom, brother, my dad's sister who lives an hour away), but that was not all. Several people from my parent's church had arisen at an ungodly hour to be with my dad for a few minutes before he went into surgery.
After my dad was wheeled away, everyone moved to the waiting area where we were joined by many more people. Friends my parents met when they first moved to Tyler (I was a year old), the only preacher I ever knew growing up and his wife, my best friend's parents, etc... It was like old home week. Everyone wanted to know about my wife, kids and job. We talked about our experiences with the same dentist (we've all been to John Scott). Laughed about people we all know. I almost felt guilty enjoying myself so much while my dad underwent cancer surgery.
Later that afternoon, as I sat in my dad's hospital room, I had time to reflect on the events of the morning. The day began with worries about my dad's cancer and impending surgery. It ended with him resting (about as comfortably as possible after a surgery) in his hospital room. In between, I experienced real love, concern and community.
This is how we want things to be. What we hope for. That people will be there for us when the chips are down. But so often we think this just happens. That people either show up or don't because of some cosmic happenstance. But that's just not true. Look at the facts.
My parents have lived in the same town for 36 years.
They have attended the same church for 32 years.
My mom has attended almost every bridal and baby shower held during that span.
My parents bring food to those who are sick, host the single parents and their kids for swimming at their house, and throw a killer New Year's party.
Don't get me wrong. My parents aren't the most theologically sophisticated people you will ever meet (that is not a put down by the way), but they know how to stick with it. They have stuck with the same church and same people for decades. Everyone who showed up weren't people my parents have shared all their darkest secrets with, my parents are too private for that. But they are people with whom they have shared life, long-term.
Community isn't an accident. It is not simply a product of a charismatic leader. Rather, community is the result of the slow and often repetitive process of staying with people. Community is not first and foremost something that happens or we strive for, it is something that grows out of showing up in people's lives. Again. And again. And again. And again. And again.
June 17, 2010
June 1, 2010
Revival #4
Continuing our look at revival. What true revival in the church looks like.
Revival in the Church 2.7.2010.mp3
April 17, 2010
Family Choices
http://tv.msn.com/mom-pop-culture/what-the-duggars-are-doing-wrong/story/feature/?gt1=28137
A recent article I read online prompted me to write this blog entry. The article was about the Duggar family, who have nineteen children and a reality show about their family. I encourage you to read the article (linked above). I cannot explain it all, but the article and especially many of the comments posted in response to it truly bashed large, homeschooling, religious families. So here is my response.
Simply put, I do not watch this show because I do not have cable or dish. My family (which is large) chooses to spend our money elsewhere. I would not put my children on TV.
However, any knock on what this family is doing should stop at their willingness to market themselves. How they raise their family is their business. I am simply glad that they are actually raising their family. Too many people allow day care, the government and the school system to be the primary influences in their children's lives. Why have children, if you do not plan to raise them?
My children are home schooled. They are obedient, well-spoken and able to interact with people of all ages, not just peers. My nine year old son knows Latin. I also know many children who attend public schools who are well-adjusted and thoughtful. These are choices we as parents must make about what is best for our children and our families. However, most people do not consider there to be any choice, but instead are pulled along by society into doing what everyone else is doing. It is not that homeschooling is the right choice, but rather thinking through all possibilities and doing what is best for your particular family and children.
There are many myths about large families in America. Overpopulation is one such myth: our greatest resource is well-adjusted people. The problem isn't overpopulation, it is under population of character-driven people of integrity. Any family producing such people...we should all hope they produce more.
Children from home-schooling families not being socialized is another myth. If by socialization we mean raising teenagers who talk back to parents and teachers, show little respect for authority, spend most of their time texting and playing video games, and find education to be a joke, then we need less socialization. Why would I want my children to spend most of their time around other people their exact same age? I want my children to have a broad range of experiences with all kinds of people. Homeschooling can provide that, but it is up to the parent to make sure it does. Public schools may provide a diversity of backgrounds. However, children must be grouped into classes where everyone is their same age and same basic education level. Therefore, public schools face a different type of challenge when seeking to expose children to diversity.
Finally, there is the myth that children from large families don't receive the love or attention they need. This could be true. Mom and Dad and other relatives might not give of themselves the way they should? But this also happens in small families. An only child can be neglected by overworking or selfish parents. And a home with many children can be a place of real love and deep relationships. Is it really bad to have an older sibling spend some time with a younger one? Isn't that what families dream about, their children taking some responsibility in life and loving each other? Is the key to a child's future really found in more free time to text their friends about the homework they are not doing?
As stated above, in the end families must make decisions based on what they believe to be best. Anytime this becomes an opportunity to demonize or dismiss those who make a different choice, goes against both democratic and Christian ideals.
A recent article I read online prompted me to write this blog entry. The article was about the Duggar family, who have nineteen children and a reality show about their family. I encourage you to read the article (linked above). I cannot explain it all, but the article and especially many of the comments posted in response to it truly bashed large, homeschooling, religious families. So here is my response.
Simply put, I do not watch this show because I do not have cable or dish. My family (which is large) chooses to spend our money elsewhere. I would not put my children on TV.
However, any knock on what this family is doing should stop at their willingness to market themselves. How they raise their family is their business. I am simply glad that they are actually raising their family. Too many people allow day care, the government and the school system to be the primary influences in their children's lives. Why have children, if you do not plan to raise them?
My children are home schooled. They are obedient, well-spoken and able to interact with people of all ages, not just peers. My nine year old son knows Latin. I also know many children who attend public schools who are well-adjusted and thoughtful. These are choices we as parents must make about what is best for our children and our families. However, most people do not consider there to be any choice, but instead are pulled along by society into doing what everyone else is doing. It is not that homeschooling is the right choice, but rather thinking through all possibilities and doing what is best for your particular family and children.
There are many myths about large families in America. Overpopulation is one such myth: our greatest resource is well-adjusted people. The problem isn't overpopulation, it is under population of character-driven people of integrity. Any family producing such people...we should all hope they produce more.
Children from home-schooling families not being socialized is another myth. If by socialization we mean raising teenagers who talk back to parents and teachers, show little respect for authority, spend most of their time texting and playing video games, and find education to be a joke, then we need less socialization. Why would I want my children to spend most of their time around other people their exact same age? I want my children to have a broad range of experiences with all kinds of people. Homeschooling can provide that, but it is up to the parent to make sure it does. Public schools may provide a diversity of backgrounds. However, children must be grouped into classes where everyone is their same age and same basic education level. Therefore, public schools face a different type of challenge when seeking to expose children to diversity.
Finally, there is the myth that children from large families don't receive the love or attention they need. This could be true. Mom and Dad and other relatives might not give of themselves the way they should? But this also happens in small families. An only child can be neglected by overworking or selfish parents. And a home with many children can be a place of real love and deep relationships. Is it really bad to have an older sibling spend some time with a younger one? Isn't that what families dream about, their children taking some responsibility in life and loving each other? Is the key to a child's future really found in more free time to text their friends about the homework they are not doing?
As stated above, in the end families must make decisions based on what they believe to be best. Anytime this becomes an opportunity to demonize or dismiss those who make a different choice, goes against both democratic and Christian ideals.
March 23, 2010
Trust and Obey (Revival #2)
Something went wrong when I previously tried to post this sermon. Hopefully it is now fixed.
Trust-01.17.10_Damon Parker.mp3
March 15, 2010
You Gotta Laugh
In the past few weeks two separate, yet undoubtedly related events have brought me some supreme chuckles (laughter, not the candy.) The first is the White House deciding to commission a group of people to figure out why we have a federal budget deficit and what we can do about it. If you can't see the humor in this, then you might hurt yourself. The government, the people in charge of making the decisions for the most powerful nation in the world, need a special commission to point out that when you spend more than you bring in it leads to a deficit. Boy I am so glad these guys are in charge. But here's the rub. Pretty good chance the commission won't come to the conclusion that spending more than you bring in is the problem.
Let me offer a simple solution for our federal budget deficit. Pass a law that until the deficit is gone, the federal budget for the next year must be less than 99% of the previous years revenue. Now, that doesn't get rid of all the old debt. Nor does it determine the means for reaching that number (could be budget cuts, tax increases, whatever). It is simply the first step. It would be like cutting up the credit cards as a first step in getting your own personal finances in shape. But the government would almost never do something this simple because it would be too easy to track when the government didn't stick with it.
The second event was an article I read in the January 12 edition of Time. The point of the article is that with the economic problems that have gripped America, it has become obvious that many Americans do not understand personal finances. The article asks how we can educate our children so they do not make some of the same stupid financial mistakes of the previous generation? The answer: The government is sending out new curriculum to be used in our schools. (This is when you must fall down, lay on the ground, and laugh til it hurts.) The government, massively in debt, unable to stick to a budget, and proposing new expensive legislation in the midst of a "financial crisis", wants to teach children how to handle their money!
No matter where you stand politically, the way our national government has dealt with our money for many years goes beyond ridiculous. Yes, many families are in dire straits because of stupid financial decisions. Only, they don't have the luxury of raising taxes or borrowing from China. The gall of the government believing it is in any position to give financial advice. It is a drowning man claiming to be an expert swimmer.
Post Script: In the article about children needing financial education the word "parents" was never mentioned.
Let me offer a simple solution for our federal budget deficit. Pass a law that until the deficit is gone, the federal budget for the next year must be less than 99% of the previous years revenue. Now, that doesn't get rid of all the old debt. Nor does it determine the means for reaching that number (could be budget cuts, tax increases, whatever). It is simply the first step. It would be like cutting up the credit cards as a first step in getting your own personal finances in shape. But the government would almost never do something this simple because it would be too easy to track when the government didn't stick with it.
The second event was an article I read in the January 12 edition of Time. The point of the article is that with the economic problems that have gripped America, it has become obvious that many Americans do not understand personal finances. The article asks how we can educate our children so they do not make some of the same stupid financial mistakes of the previous generation? The answer: The government is sending out new curriculum to be used in our schools. (This is when you must fall down, lay on the ground, and laugh til it hurts.) The government, massively in debt, unable to stick to a budget, and proposing new expensive legislation in the midst of a "financial crisis", wants to teach children how to handle their money!
No matter where you stand politically, the way our national government has dealt with our money for many years goes beyond ridiculous. Yes, many families are in dire straits because of stupid financial decisions. Only, they don't have the luxury of raising taxes or borrowing from China. The gall of the government believing it is in any position to give financial advice. It is a drowning man claiming to be an expert swimmer.
Post Script: In the article about children needing financial education the word "parents" was never mentioned.
March 9, 2010
Revival Series
In early January I began a series of sermons on revival. Unfortunately, not all of them were recorded as we were still in the midst of working on sound equipment at the new building. But over the next week or two I will post all that were recorded.
I have received great response to this series. This makes me a little wary of putting it on the web. This series was not meant simply to be listened to. Rather it is something I was asking people at church to participate in. It is that participation, much more than the sermons, that has led to numerous personal revivals. So let us give credit where credit is due. God and people do the work together. I am just a pencil in God's hand.
Revival 01.10.10_Damon Parker.mp3
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